Law of Mechanical Repair – After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch & you’ll need to go to the toilet.
Law of Gravity – Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
Law of Probability – The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of Random Numbers – If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
Law of the Alibi – If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
Variation Law – If you change traffic lanes, the one you were in will always move faster than the one you change to.
Law of the Bath – When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
Law of Close Encounters – The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.
Law of the Result – When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will.
Law of Biomechanics – The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
Law of the Theatre and Football Ground – At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the gamer. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies & stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.
The Tea Break Law – As soon as you sit down to a cuppa, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
The Law of Lockers – If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
The Law of Physical Surfaces – The chances of an open-faced jam sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.
The Law of Logical Argument- Anything is possible if you don’t know what you are talking about.
The Law of Physical Appearance – If the clothes fit, they’re ugly.
The Law of Public Speaking – A closed mouth gathers no feet.
The Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy – As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
Doctors’ Law – If you don’t feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you’ll feel better, but don’t make an appointment and you’ll stay sick.