This gem was sent to me by a (very) English woman. It fits the theme of Wryday 28, but it’s foundations of humour are built upon much harsher and unjust stereotypes (tsk, tsk, tsk … how could she!). If that kind of thing offends you, look away now …
Three’s a crowd?
On a beautiful desolate island in the middle of nowhere, the following
group of people are shipwrecked :-
2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman
2 French men and 1 French woman
2 German men and 1 German woman
2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman
2 Bulgarian men and 1 Bulgarian woman
2 Japanese men and 1 Japanese woman
2 Chinese men and 1 Chinese woman
2 Canadian men and 1 Canadian woman
2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman
2 English men and 1 English woman
One month later on the same island in the middle of nowhere, the following things have occurred:
One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.
The two French men and the French woman are living happily together in a ménage-à-trois.
The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of alternating visits with the German woman.
The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them.
The two Bulgarian men took one long look at the endless ocean, another long look at the Bulgarian woman, and started swimming.
The two Japanese men have faxed Tokyo and are awaiting instructions.
The two Chinese men have set up a pharmacy, a liquor store, a restaurant and a laundry, and have got the woman pregnant in order to supply employees for their stores.
The two Canadian men are contemplating suicide because the Canadian woman keeps complaining about her body; the true nature of feminism; how she can do everything they can do; the necessity of fulfilment; the equal division of household chores; how sand and palm trees make her look fat; how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her nicer than they do; how her relationship with her mother is improving, and how at least the taxes are low and it isn’t raining.
The two Irish men have divided the island into North and South and have set up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets sort of foggy after the first few liters of coconut whisky. But they’re satisfied because at least the English aren’t having any fun.
The two English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman.
Mmm … I wonder who the original author of this was? My instinct says Canadian.
I also wonder what an Australian entry would look like along the same theme. Perhaps it could be ‘The two Australian men spent most of their waking hours playing beach cricket or just loafing around. At night they’d try to scam some whiskey out the Irish and food from the Greeks. The Australian woman got tired of being ignored and joined the French.
I could go on, so I think I will …
The two Australian blokes were Bluey (because he had red hair that was really orange) and Rowdy (because he was a quiet sort of bloke). Niether knew the other’s real name and it never occured to them to ask.
After much stirring they managed to convince the English blokes to join in the cricket — although they’d only play in the cool of the evening — and convincingly belted them most of the time.
The Australian’s gave the Englishmen nick-names too, inspite of protests. One was ‘Shorty’ (because he was tall) and the other was ‘Silent P’ (they knew his real name was Rick and they didn’t like him much).